joel stein

2003-05-27 - 9:33 p.m.

joel stein, you are my hero.

do you hear me?

i just read the funniest article in time.

just to quote...

"A store defines itself by its merchandise, and Wal-Mart is no more obligated to carry men's magazines than a women's shoe store is to sell beer and doughnuts. I hope by printing that here, I have copyrighted that idea. And while Wal-Mart sells guns, hunting knives, cigarettes, Wiggles DVDs and other things I wouldn't feel comfortable putting on the shelves in my shoe-beer-and-doughnuts store, its job isn't to be morality police. Wal-Mart's business is not to offend its customers, most of whom are, for reasons that may have to do with our nation's obesity, more comfortable with hunting rifles than nudity. Its job is to make families feel comfortable enough to shop and enjoy those 12� hotdogs together. Because that is where the real profit is, people. Trust me, I've tried them."

and...

"Smut, as Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart said, "can't be defined, but I know it when it gives me an erection." I don't know if that's exactly the quote, but I can't look it up right now because I'm trying to stay off the Web until I finish this essay. And Maxim is pretty blatant about being smut, with the feline poses, latex outfits and none-too-subtle cover lines, like SEX SCENES: GOOD GIRLS RATE DIRTY MOVIES!"

ha.

ha ha.

- marie