salad dressing

2003-04-13 - 10:29 p.m.

my father is a silly, silly man.

i told him to go to the grocery store to buy some whipped cream cheese, milk, eggs, baby carrots, and low fat ranch dressing, and he called me, very distressed.

"marie? marie can you hear me? sorry, i'm in publix right now, and it has terrible reception..."

"okay, father, what is it?"

"um, well, i'm a little confused as to your request for low fat ranch dressing."

"what's the problem?"

"there doesn't seem to be any."

and here, a bit of panic sets in.

"there's so many different kinds of ranch dressing! do you and michael like garlic ranch?"

"are you sure there isn't some kind of lite ranch?"

he fumbles with the phone and drops it. he scrambles to pick it back up.

"hello? hello? no, i don't think there's any lite ranch."

"then just get ranch, dad. plain ranch."

"no garlic?"

"no garlic."

"are you sure?"

"i'm positive."

"okay, then. i'm coming home soon."

"i love you, dad."

"i love you, too."

thus, more proof we have a dire need for my mother to buy our salad dressing.

- marie